To the Highly Sensitive Person, you are welcome here.
Being more sensitive is a superpower but it doesn't always feel that way. Is it possible to thrive in an overwhelming world, and how can therapy help?
*Serving all of California via Video Therapy
Being highly sensitive means that you feel very deeply.
In a society that often prizes speed and efficiency, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) experience the world in high definition—where nuance, emotion, and sensory input are felt with profound intensity. You feel emotions—both joyful ones and difficult ones—at a deep intensity. Highly empathetic, you have a keen perception of other’s emotions and are often the friend or family member that others turn to for a listening ear. You may even absorb other people's energies and feel them almost like your own.
HSPs often also notice subtle details around them, and they have a deep appreciation for beauty, wonder, and the awe-inspiring. Being sensitive often means that creative and performing arts can have a deep impact on you.
Since HSPs are so responsive to the environment, you may often perceive subtle smells, sounds, or energies that others don’t seem to notice. This heightened sensitivity can make everyday situations feel a little overwhelming, from the bustling energy of a crowded room to the subtle tension in a conversation. Despite needing to recharge after a long day out or a stimulating experience (think: all-day excursions, spending time with others, immersive experiences like concerts, and more), you may still have a thirst for exciting events or adrenaline-pumping experiences too.
At its best, you're appreciated for your empathy and depth of insight. However, you may have also been told that "you're too sensitive" and to "toughen up." Others may have written you off as "shy."
Some Common Challenges that HSPs Experience:
Deep Processing: HSPs naturally tend to process information and emotions more deeply and thoroughly. This can result in longer times to make decisions or form opinions, which can be frustrating for both the HSP and their friends, family, or partners who may not understand this innate processing.
Absorbing Others' Emotions: According to research using brain imaging studies, highly sensitive individuals “feel” and absorb other people’s emotional states to a greater extent. This can lead to emotional exhaustion and difficulty distinguishing between their own feelings and those of others.
Overwhelm in Social Settings: HSPs can often find large gatherings or smaller but intense conversations overwhelming due to the flood of sensory inputs and emotions. This can make it difficult to participate or enjoy social activities with as much ease as others do.
Need for Alone Time: HSPs often require quiet time to decompress and process their experiences. Partners or friends might misinterpret this need as withdrawal, disinterest, or avoidance which can potentially lead to misunderstandings and conflict in relationships.
Misinterpretation of Sensitivity: Partners, friends, or family members may not understand the depth of an HSP's emotional responses, dismissing their sensitivity as overreactions or a habit of taking things too personally that needs to be corrected. This can lead to feelings of being misunderstood and isolated.
Conflict Aversion: Due to their sensitivity to emotional nuances and potential outcomes, HSPs may avoid conflicts or confrontations, fearing overwhelming emotional stress or hurting others. This avoidance can result in unresolved issues in relationships, people-pleasing behaviors, chronic feelings of resentment, and internalized stress.
Difficulty with Criticism: Even constructive criticism can be deeply felt by HSPs, potentially leading to feelings of inadequacy or being misunderstood. This can affect personal growth and the dynamic of the relationship if not communicated effectively.
Sensory Sensitivities: Specific sensory preferences or aversions can make certain environments or activities challenging. For example, loud venues, intense visual stimuli, or certain textures can be uncomfortable, which may limit shared experiences with others.
You are not alone. Your sensitivity is actually a superpower waiting to be understood.
According to psychologist, Dr. Elaine Aron, who has been researching high sensitivity since 1991, 15%–20% of the population of humans and many animals is highly sensitive! Her research shows that there are 4 defining traits (D.O.E.S.) that make a HSP different—and powerful.
Depth of processing
Overstimulation
Emotional Reactivity & Empathy
Sensing the Subtle
What her work also tells us is that we can turn what's been perceived as a liability or weakness... into a strength. Therapy is a place where you can slow down and actually get to know yourself better. It's a place to safely process the impact of being told "you're too sensitive" your whole life. With greater understanding and self-compassion, you can stop trying to fit yourself into other people's boxes and instead:
Develop deeper, more meaningful relationships
Find work or a career that is meaningful to you
Design a life that allows you to actually rest and recharge
Learn to Reclaim Your Peace and Power in Therapy
Feel seen and understood
HSPs are often misunderstood. As an HSP myself, I strive to offer a validating environment for fellow HSPs, one in which your experiences and feelings are acknowledged and respected. We focus on acceptance, curiosity, and growth instead of judgment and shaming.
Develop skills to deal with difficult emotions
As deeply-feeling people, HSPs often benefit from learning how to navigate their emotions constructively. Emotions can often be confusing and overwhelming for HSPs due to their nuance. Therapy can help you to manage difficult emotions, turning distress into wisdom and creativity.
Boost your self-esteem
Therapy offers a different perspective on being highly sensitive that challenges all of the messages from society that view sensitivity as a flaw. Learn to debunk self-limiting beliefs to find greater self-love and confidence. Your sensitivity is actually a gift!
Create self-care that actually fits you
HSPs are often held to standards and lifestyles that don’t actually fit the sensitive nervous system. Discover what rest and fulfillment actually mean to you as a Highly Sensitive Person so you can create sustainable habits for well-being that click for you.
Navigate relationships more effectively
Clarify how your sensitivity influences interactions with others and explore ways to effectively communicate your needs and differences. By learning relationship skills and breaking down dysfunctional patterns, you can create more fulfilling connections with partners, family, and friends.
Get in alignment with your values
HSPs often find themselves in situations—relationships, jobs, societal values and more—that are not built with them in mind. Instead of trying to keep up with someone else’s definition of a sucessful life, therapy can help clarify YOUR values so you can craft a life that feels good to you.
Live more fully and meaningfully by embracing your sensitivity.
Frequently Asked Questions for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
-
-
Not at all! It’s like wondering if brown eyes are a “bad thing.” It’s important to recognize that sensitivity comes with beautiful strengths and also unique challenges just like any other feature of the human condition. You might wonder about this not because there is something inherently wrong with sensitivity but because many people have simply internalized messages from others or society at all that judge sensitivity as a bad thing. Therapy can help you to break down some of those negative beliefs so you can live with greater confidence and self-love.
-
Yes! Learning more about the trait and its characteristics have put my own HSP experiences (that I didn’t realize were HSP at the time!) into perspective. It has changed the way I view myself, the way I craft my life to fit me, and the way I have relationships with others. I love working with fellow HSPs, who are some of the most empathetic, joyful and funny people around.
-
Great question! First, send me a message using the contact form. Typically, I like to start with a 20-minute phone consultation, where we can chat more about what you’re looking for in therapy.
Ready to take the first step towards healing?
Reach out to schedule a free 20-minute consultation.